Am I Being Used? [JEM; Jerrica/Rio]
Mar. 12th, 2018 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
schizoauthoress_libraryTitle: Am I Being Used?
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: G
Spoilers: none, vague timestamp (after the first season)
Warnings: nothing I can think of, but let me know
Prompt/Fill: from this post -- things you said after you kissed me
Word Count: 525
Summary: Both Jerrica and Rio are uncertain about where their relationship stands, but a lot of things remain unsaid.
Note: Title comes, naturally, from the Jem and the Holograms song Who Is He Kissing?
Word of the Day: obtuse, adjective:
1. Not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect.
2. Not sharp, acute, or pointed; blunt in form.
3. (Of a leaf, petal, etc.) rounded at the extremity.
4. Indistinctly felt or perceived, as pain or sound.
Am I Being Used?
"You know that I love you, right?"
Jerrica opened her eyes and looked into Rio's face. "Of course!" she exclaimed. The question -- and the timing of it, right after he'd kissed her -- was so strange.
He didn't look assured. He cupped his hand against her jaw, gently, and stared into her eyes. "Sometimes," Rio said roughly, "I wonder. I wonder if you really believe me when I say that I love you."
"Rio..." Jerrica started to say, but he moved his hand, and his finger brushed against one of the Jemstar earrings. She froze up at the reminder of the secrets she was keeping, and he sighed.
"I don't want to hurt you," Rio said, pulling his hand away and stepping back from their embrace, "but sometimes I think I already have. And you just won't tell me what I've done wrong."
Jerrica tried again. "Rio. It... it isn't you..."
He smiled, wryly, but his eyes were sad. "Really, Jerrica? 'It's not you; it's me'?"
"No!" She cried. "I don't... what do you want me to say? You ask me a question, but when I say yes, you doubt me."
"I don't know," Rio said honestly. "Maybe there isn't something we can say to fix this. Even if we love each other."
'You're losing him!' Jerrica screamed in her own mind, even as she stared at Rio in surprise. 'You're going to lose the man you love! Say something! Do something!'
Jerrica lifted a hand, touched the Jemstar earring hanging from her right ear. Do something. Do something. She could show him how much she trusted him, she could finally share her secret with him, prove that she didn't doubt his love --
Rio's gaze flicked to the motion of her hand, and then he frowned. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"What?" Jerrica asked, confused. Rio nodded toward her hand at her ear.
"You do that when you're nervous. Or scared. Fiddle with your earrings." He took a breath. "And I didn't mean to scare you. All I meant was... I'm worried about us. I feel like we don't really talk anymore, and... even if we try, I don't think we get anywhere. I want to fix it, but I don't know how."
Jerrica wasn't sure how to respond to that. And by not responding, she felt, she was probably just proving Rio's point. There were a lot of things she didn't tell him. Partly because she thought she couldn't.
'I'm not sure of that, though,' Jerrica thought. 'I'm scared to lose him. So I don't do anything that I think might drive him away. Including tell the truth about Jem.'
Rio reached for her again, wrapping his arms around her for a hug -- and nothing more. He ducked his head just enough to whisper in her ear, "When you're ready, Jerrica," and then pulled away.
Jerrica didn't do anything but watch as he walked away, to where he'd parked his van in Starlight Mansion's circular driveway, mulling over his words. What did that mean? When she was ready... ready to what?
Jerrica's hand drifted up to her Jemstar earring again, and she wondered...
*-*-*-*-*
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: G
Spoilers: none, vague timestamp (after the first season)
Warnings: nothing I can think of, but let me know
Prompt/Fill: from this post -- things you said after you kissed me
Word Count: 525
Summary: Both Jerrica and Rio are uncertain about where their relationship stands, but a lot of things remain unsaid.
Note: Title comes, naturally, from the Jem and the Holograms song Who Is He Kissing?
Word of the Day: obtuse, adjective:
1. Not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect.
2. Not sharp, acute, or pointed; blunt in form.
3. (Of a leaf, petal, etc.) rounded at the extremity.
4. Indistinctly felt or perceived, as pain or sound.
Am I Being Used?
"You know that I love you, right?"
Jerrica opened her eyes and looked into Rio's face. "Of course!" she exclaimed. The question -- and the timing of it, right after he'd kissed her -- was so strange.
He didn't look assured. He cupped his hand against her jaw, gently, and stared into her eyes. "Sometimes," Rio said roughly, "I wonder. I wonder if you really believe me when I say that I love you."
"Rio..." Jerrica started to say, but he moved his hand, and his finger brushed against one of the Jemstar earrings. She froze up at the reminder of the secrets she was keeping, and he sighed.
"I don't want to hurt you," Rio said, pulling his hand away and stepping back from their embrace, "but sometimes I think I already have. And you just won't tell me what I've done wrong."
Jerrica tried again. "Rio. It... it isn't you..."
He smiled, wryly, but his eyes were sad. "Really, Jerrica? 'It's not you; it's me'?"
"No!" She cried. "I don't... what do you want me to say? You ask me a question, but when I say yes, you doubt me."
"I don't know," Rio said honestly. "Maybe there isn't something we can say to fix this. Even if we love each other."
'You're losing him!' Jerrica screamed in her own mind, even as she stared at Rio in surprise. 'You're going to lose the man you love! Say something! Do something!'
Jerrica lifted a hand, touched the Jemstar earring hanging from her right ear. Do something. Do something. She could show him how much she trusted him, she could finally share her secret with him, prove that she didn't doubt his love --
Rio's gaze flicked to the motion of her hand, and then he frowned. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"What?" Jerrica asked, confused. Rio nodded toward her hand at her ear.
"You do that when you're nervous. Or scared. Fiddle with your earrings." He took a breath. "And I didn't mean to scare you. All I meant was... I'm worried about us. I feel like we don't really talk anymore, and... even if we try, I don't think we get anywhere. I want to fix it, but I don't know how."
Jerrica wasn't sure how to respond to that. And by not responding, she felt, she was probably just proving Rio's point. There were a lot of things she didn't tell him. Partly because she thought she couldn't.
'I'm not sure of that, though,' Jerrica thought. 'I'm scared to lose him. So I don't do anything that I think might drive him away. Including tell the truth about Jem.'
Rio reached for her again, wrapping his arms around her for a hug -- and nothing more. He ducked his head just enough to whisper in her ear, "When you're ready, Jerrica," and then pulled away.
Jerrica didn't do anything but watch as he walked away, to where he'd parked his van in Starlight Mansion's circular driveway, mulling over his words. What did that mean? When she was ready... ready to what?
Jerrica's hand drifted up to her Jemstar earring again, and she wondered...
*-*-*-*-*
